“But I also felt like an eggshell that had gotten a tiny crack. You can’t repair something like that. All you can do is hope that it sticks together, hope that the crack doesn’t grow until all your insides come spilling right out.”
~Leila Sales, This Song Will Save Your Life
Sometimes we must carry a facade, the face for the world to see is not our own. For our own face, should it show what our heart feels, what our spirit carries, might scare the world.
How long can we fool the world before we crash, before we crack under pressure?
Why do we not show others what we are really like? Are we afraid? Perhaps we think others will think we are weird, or crazy or stupid or too this or that. Do we fool them? At what cost?
Perhaps we are conforming to what society perceives as beauty-in looks or style. Maybe it’s behavior–we don’t let others know how we feel about certain issues for the fear of not being socially acceptable, politically correct or “unenlightened”.
When I was in college, I majored in Theatre and Film. Goodwill was my favorite place to shop. Mom wondered why I “insisted on dressing like a bag lady” with my 1950s purses and comfy but perhaps unusual clothing. At my first “real” job out of college (retail management), I had a talking to (or three) about my appearance and what was socially acceptable. And somehow, I conformed.
I find that many years later now I wonder who I am. Mother of 8, wife, massage therapist, photographer, teacher. Social mores perhaps dictate that I act and dress a certain way. And I’m just cracking out of that now, again, and finding more peace.
It’s time to be who I am inside, and what I’m meant to be, not what others mean me to be. Do you have the strength to do the same?